


One Year

by dip_the_pip



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Coming Out To You anniversary fic, Fluff, M/M, Masturbation, Mild Smut, Video: Coming Out To You (Phandom), handjob, steve the pigeon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:36:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24991648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dip_the_pip/pseuds/dip_the_pip
Summary: Phil spends the one-year anniversary of publicly coming out treating himself.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 16
Kudos: 82





	One Year

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhh I still can't believe it's been a year since COTY!!! I'm still so immensely proud of Phil, and love him so so much! 
> 
> Anyways enjoy phil jacking off bc he remembers that dans hot

When he wakes up, it isn’t surprising that Dan isn’t still in bed next to him. Dan’s been getting back into running after months of not, and Phil’s glad he gets to do something that brings him joy again, while Phil gets to do something that brings him joy.

He rolls onto his back, into the middle of the bed, and stretches out, kicking off the duvet. He stares at the ceiling, before letting his eyes slip closed as the warmth of the sun outside warms him through the window that Dan opened the blinds for before he left.

_A whole year_ , he thinks to himself. Sure, he had been out to friends and family for much longer but…it’s been one whole year since he told _everyone._ A whole year of not having to hide himself, or his partner, from anyone. A whole year of openly cracking gay jokes and innuendos and smiles and laughs. A whole year of just getting to _be._

Part of him could cry, happy tears of course, but another part of him just wants to _love_. He wants Dan back in bed to hold him, to kiss him, to remind him that it’s okay for a man to make love to him.

Dan does do that, though, nearly every day. He always holds Phil, makes love to him, takes care of him, and loves him unconditionally. Dan wipes his tears and runs his fingers through his hair when things are bad, and he brings soup and meds when Phil’s got a particularly bad migraine.

Dan loves him, and Phil loves how much Dan loves him, and it’s only ever grown more with time.

A few distant uncles and aunts and cousins didn’t approve, but that didn’t phase Phil too much. He had a little cry, talked to him mum and moved past it. One of their old baristas used to glare at the men holding hands when they’d walk in, but that just drove them to another coffee shop, that was owned by a sweet lesbian couple. In America, their bus stopped at a chip-truck in a small town for some quick food. When the owner saw the men talking closely with an arm around the others waist, he immediately denied them service, and they moped back to the tour bus. They held each other then, comforting each other with ‘it’ll be different one day’ until Martyn knocked on the bus door to bring them some food, and offer them an apology, even though it wasn’t his fault.

No matter the issue, they had each other.

He had his Dan. His beautiful, brown eyed, curly haired Dan. He had the man that he was going to get to love forever.

_A man._

That used to terrify him, thinking about telling his family and friends that he wanted to love another man one day, but it got so much easier when Dan entered his life. He felt like he could finally be himself with Dan, and he knows his mum caught on quick to how fast her youngest son was falling for a boy from the south. Dan made it easier, even if he never actually said the words ‘ _I’m gay,’_ to his parents. They understood that Phil was happy, and that made them happy.

Phil stretches out more, curling his toes and cracking them. He sighs happily, relaxing into the bed more and letting his hand slide down his tummy slowly. He wraps his hand around his half-hard cock and begins stroking himself slowly. He hasn’t watched porn in years, but the thought vaguely crosses his mind to get it over with sooner, but instead, he decides to revel in it.

His dick hardens as he strokes himself, slow strokes from base to head as his mind wanders to Dan. His Dan. He imagines those big brown watery eyes staring up at him as he attempts to deepthroat Phil, he thinks about every time Dan’s eyes roll back with a simple kiss to the neck, and about how beautiful Dan looks spread out on their bed, face down, ass up, when he really needs to convince Phil that it’s reasonable for him to buy another several thousand pound jumper.

He speeds up his hand as he tilts his head back between the pillows and turns his head to bury his nose in Dan’s. It smells like sweat and sleep and sex and _Dan_. _Just Dan_. He shivers, reaching down with his other hand to massage at his balls. He bends his legs at the knee, and spreads them for better access, reaching two fingers behind his balls to rub at his perineum, his body shaking with need.

His cock is throbbing in his hand, and he pulls his palm away briefly to spit in it to make the strokes smoother. They had lube, lots of high-quality stuff, but spit was just different, and more convenient. The sun heats his skin through the window, and his whole body feels on fire as he speeds up his strokes.

He debates slipping his hand lower and pushing a finger in, but he rather let Dan enjoy opening him up fully later, when they inevitably fuck at some point in the day after he’s back. Dan looks so good when he comes back. He’s always sweaty, still panting softly with extra curls from his sweat. He always wears tight biking shorts and an old t-shirt, and when he comes home after his runs with sweat soaking through the shirt, Phil can almost never resist dragging Dan back into bed with him, even if Dan didn’t have the energy for sex yet.

Phil groans and rolls over completely to Dan’s side on his stomach, burying his face into the pillow more as he tries to quicken his pace between his body and the mattress, grinding down into his fist with the sensitive head brushing against the sheets beneath him, making him whimper and whine as he chases his finish.

He can faintly hear the open and shut of their front door, followed by the sound of Dan’s footsteps coming down the hall to their room. Phil rolls back over to lay in the middle of the bed, his sweaty hair stuck to his forehead, his cheeks a blotchy red, and panting softly when Dan walks into the bedroom. Phil squeezes the base of his cock when he sees him, humming contentedly when he sees that Dan’s already peeled his shirt off on the walk to their room.

“Couldn’t wait for me?” He teases, as he walks over to the bed and sits on the edge, leaning down and cupping Phil’s jaw, pulling him in for a deep kiss that tastes. Phil’s morning breath mixes with Dan’s coffee breath, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Phil reaches for Dan’s other hand, and leads it down to his dick, sighing and relaxing back into the mattress as Dan resumes stroking him. He thrusts up into Dan’s tight fist, and Dan bites at his bottom lip, pulling a whine deep from his chest. “So close, Dan,” He mumbles against his lips, as his toes curl into the sheets.

Dan pulls away from the kiss and moves down the bed to wrap his lips around Phil’s cock, quickly beginning to bob his head. Phil feels Dan reach out for his hand, and moves it to the back of his curls, giving Phil permission to reach his finish.

Phil is as mindful as he can be as he grips Dan’s sweaty curls, trusting up into his warm, wet mouth. He feels Dan’s nails digging into his thighs, and he hopes the indents stay for a little while. His thrusts get sporadic as he gets close, tugging on Dan’s hair, “C-Close,” He stutters out as Dan opens his eyes, looking up at him through his lashes with dark brown eyes. Phil stares back, lost in his eyes as he fucks up into Dan’s mouth, drool running down his cock and balls and probably dripping onto the sheets under him, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Phil comes, his hips off the bed as Dan swallows down the salty and bitter load. Phil pants softly, his hand loosening its grip in Dan’s hair as he melts into the mattress, sighing heavily. Dan pulls off, makes a disgusted face as he wipes mouth with the back of his hand and climbs up Phil’s body to kiss him.

“Nasty,” Phil mumbles against his lips, but licks into Dan’s mouth anyways to taste himself.

“You’re the one that came in my mouth,” Dan mumbles back.

Phil shrugs, bringing his hands up to hold Dan’s waist, “Warned you, though,”

“Mmh, yeah, I guess,” Dan grins, placing one last smooch to Phil’s lips before climbing off of him and rolling out of bed, tossing his sweaty shirt towards the laundry basket as he goes searching for a new one in the closet, “Rare that you jack-off, what got into you?”

Phil scratches at his tummy lazily, feeling the spit cooling on his softening dick and balls. “Just got to thinkin’,”

Dan tugs on another t-shirt, before shucking off his shorts and pulling back on his sweatpants, “Well, that’s dangerous,” He chuckles as he climbs over Phil to get to his side of the bed. He lays on his side, curling up against Phil in the middle, “What were you thinking about?”

“You,” He says simply, and Dan pokes him in his side.

“Gross, you like me,”

Phil closes his eyes, letting one arm wrap around Dan as a smile grows on his lips, “I do. I like you quite a bit, actually,”

“Oh really?” Dan hums in a teasing voice, pressing his lips to Phil’s bare shoulder, “Please, go on, tell me everything you like about me,” he jokes, and Phil’s smile grows.

“Nice try! Can’t trick me into complimenting you,” Phil giggles, tightening his arm around Dan, “but I love your eyes. And your smile. And your face,” He opens his eyes, and looks at Dan next to him, “And I love your mind, your soul, your personality, your heart,”

“Brave of you to assume I have a soul,” Dan jokes, and Phil rolls his eyes.

“You do, and it’s beautiful and I love it,”

“You’re beautiful, and I love you,” Dan says softly with another kiss, this time to Phil’s collarbone.

“I love that you have a dick,” Phil whispers, and Dan smiles against his skin, letting his hand slide down Phil’s chest slowly, “I love that…that you’re a guy, and that I get to love you.”

Dan hums, “I love that I get to love you, too,” he whispers against his warm, freckly skin.

They lay in silence for a while, and Dan almost thinks that Phil has fallen back to sleep, until he hears his tummy rumble. He sits up, looking down at Phil, who smiles sheepishly and giggles.

“Haven’t eaten yet today,”

“Figured,” Dan grins, and rolls over Phil to climb out of bed, making Phil grunt and laugh ass he rolls to follow Dan out of bed. He grabs Dan’s sweaty t-shirt from earlier and uses it to wipe the drying drool from his crotch and thighs before going to find his pair of discarded shorts from the night before.

He follows Dan out of the bedroom, and into the kitchen, where there’s a paper baggy and two coffees waiting. He gasps, going to grab the one that he could see whipped cream coming out of lid, and inhales deeply, “You grabbed me a coffee?” he asks as he leans against the counter

“Figured I’d treat you,” Dan smiles as he picks up his coffee, taking off the lid and finishing it before tossing it in the bin. He grabs two plates and places them in front of the paper bag before reaching in and pulling out two cupcakes, placing one on each plate. Phil watches Dan, eyeing up the cupcakes. They were like jumbo cupcakes, iced with a pastel rainbow.

“What’re those for?”

“To celebrate you,” He smiles, opening a junk drawer and grabbing a random birthday candle, sticking it into one of the cupcakes. He grabs their candle lighter off of the counter and lights it, smiling shyly at Phil, “Do you think it’s stupid?”

Phil grins, pushing himself off the counter and setting his coffee down. He strides over to Dan, his smile only growing as he wraps his arms around Dan and tugs him in for a hug, to which he goes easily, his arms slipping around Phil’s waist, “No, no I don’t think it’s stupid,” He says softly with a shake of his head. He feels Dan give him an extra squeeze before stepping away. “What do you even wish for on a coming out anniversary?”

Dan shrugs a bit, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back against the counter to watch as Phil picks up the cupcake with the lit candle and inspects the dessert closely, “I mean, you don’t have to wish for anything, I guess. It’s not a birthday,”

Phil looks at the flame before making eye contact with Dan. He grins, and closes his eyes, before blowing out the candle. He pulls it out of the cupcake, licking the icing from the bottom before tossing it aside on the counter. He grabs both of the plates, and Dan grabs Phil’s coffee, and they head out to the lounge.

After finishing their cupcakes, they curl up to watch a new Netflix special. Between episodes, Dan looks over at Phil, who has his eyes trained on the tv.

“Did you do it?” He asks, prompted by nothing Phil said.

“Hmm?” Phil hums, not looking away from the screen. Dan leans back into the couch, smiling a little.

“Did you make a wish?”

The corner of Phil’s mouth tugs up into a grin, and he turns to face Dan, “Maybe,”

“You gonna tell me what it is?”

“Won’t that ruin the wish magic?”

Dan shakes his head, “Birthday rules don’t apply to coming out anniversary rules,”

Phil rolls his eyes, but reaches out for Dan, who gravitates to him easily. Dan settles mostly on top of Phil, their legs tangled together as Dan presses his nose into the crook of Phil’s neck, “Do you really wanna know what I wished for?”

Dan shrugs a little, “If you wanna share,” he whispers.

Phil runs his fingers up and down Dan’s back slowly, eventually slipping his hand under the hem of his shirt and dragging his nails across the soft skin, “I wished for happiness and comfort,” He says quietly, “for both of us,”

Dan pulls away, furrowing his brow and looking down at him, “Are you not happy?”

Phil reaches up for Dan, pulling him back down and running his fingers through his still-sweaty curls, “I am. I truly, truly am, I promise. The wish was more meant for…the outside world, I guess. I want for us to be comfortable in shops, or theatres, or restaurants and not be afraid to be together,” He says softly, “I don’t want to _just_ be comfortable, though, I want to be _happy_ in those places. I want to be able to treat you like my partner in those spaces, not just a friend or a flatmate. I don’t want to have to search out LGBTQ+ spaces all the time, I just want us to be able to exist peacefully everywhere,”

Dan smiles, pressing a kiss to Phil’s neck, “Maybe one day we will,” He says softly, “And if we aren’t in a year, you can wish again,”

Phil nods a little, “I don’t even just want it for us. I want it for everyone…”

Dan sighs softly, resting his hand on Phil’s chest, “Your heart is too big for your body, and if the world was filled with even a fraction of the love you hold in your heart, it would be a much better place,”

Phil closes his eyes, holding Dan closer, “Sorry for being a downer,”

“It’s your day, you don’t get to apologize for anything. But, on another note,” Dan lifts his head, nodding towards the glass door where they could see a fat pigeon waddling back and forth, “it’s feeding time Papa Pigeon,”

Phil giggles, going with Dan as he pulls him up and off the couch, “I wonder if Steve knows we’re gay,”

Dan snorts as he goes to a storage closet, grabbing the bird feed and handing it to Phil. He follows him outside onto the patio, leaning against the doorway, “I don’t think Steve gives a flying fuck,”

“Well, he does fly, so maybe he does give a flying fuck. He just might not give a fuck,” Phil says with a shrug of his shoulders, scattering a small pile of bird seed and watching as Steve begins pecking at it. “I think Steve accepts us. Maybe Steve’s gay, too, and that’s why he likes us.”

“He doesn’t seem too invested in me,”

Phil grins, “Maybe Steve is gay and just likes me then!”

Dan rolls his eyes, shouting his reply as he walks into the flat, “You can sleep out there with Steve then!”

Phil snickers to himself, pouring a little extra bird seed for Steve, “No offence, Steve, but I won’t be spending the night with you,” He says apologetically to the pigeon, who doesn’t pay him any mind now that he has his food, “It’s nothing against you, it’s just that…you’re a pigeon.”

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on tumblr @dip-the-pip


End file.
